“The reason spirit has become so lost in our society is because
we have forgotten to ask for it!”
ASK for support, ask for wisdom, ask for what you need. Spirit is listening. Call in your allies, your teachers and guides. If you don’t know who or what they are then it could be time to learn
*
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening
appeared, he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it
struggled to force its body through the little hole. Then it seemed to
stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as
it could and could go no farther. Then the man decided to help the
butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and snipped the remaining bit of the
cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. Something was strange.
The butterfly had a swollen body and shrivelled wings. The man
continued to watch the butterfly because he expected at any moment,
the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body,
which would contract in time. Neither happened. In fact, the butterfly
spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and
deformed wings. It was never able to fly.
What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand, was
that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly
to get through the small opening of the cocoon, are natures way of
forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings, so that
it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the
cocoon. Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life.
If spirit allowed us to go through all our life without any obstacles,
that would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could
have been. Not only that, we could never fly.
Take a look at what obstacles you are facing right now….you were
born for something great…remember the struggle is only there to
make you stronger, to open your mind and body to receive insights
into how to grow and mature.
Without the earth, her creatures and without the elements there
would be so little to learn from. Yet we use the earth as a resource
for our own use, for our survival. The elements are speaking to us,
‘wake up we are here, we have a message for you,’ the disasters
we see and face, the forces of nature are so present with us, yet we
forget there is a teaching in every movement, we can be so naive at
times, stuck in our own blindness and inability to fully connect with
what is around us.
The grub that is to turn into a butterfly becomes liquid within the cocoon. It dissolves itself completely, ready to transform into a butterfly. Some times we need to dissolve parts of ourselves to truly transform.
from ‘Reclaimed Innocence’ (MyVoice Publishing)
Recently I was asked by a participant in my workshop ‘what does it mean to dance for your community?’
I was going to simply write my reply to her, but then I began to give it some more thought and decided to write a little more with this material.
Its quite a thing really to dance for ones community. After all, dancing for oneself is the normal, whether its for pleasure or fun, whether its to keep fit, for performance, or whether its for your own personal development.
In the School of Movement Medicine we dance very deeply for ourselves, uncovering some of the hidden issues we might be carrying, bringing our history into the dance, creating ceremony and exploring the possibility of what freedom really means.
In our work we are seeking the innate wisdom of our souls. This is connected to the 
innocent mind and the creativity that can be so often lost, in the way our society has become focused on academic achievements, mastering financial goals and many other more left brain, thinking mans progress through the centuries.
So in the beginning we do need to dance for ourselves. We need to find out who we really are beneath the layers. We need to connect back to our bodies and our hearts. To the earth and each of the elements.
And what then? There is always more we can do, I do not believe a time comes when we can say ‘I am truly enlightened, nothing more to do, I know myself inside out and there is nothing to learn.’ At least I hope that is the case, for I would certainly miss the adventure of learning if it came to an end!
But in between those moments of healing ourselves, there is a time to take what we have learned into the world around us.
There are many lives for us to affect. Many of us know the power of prayer, we may have grown up with religion in one way or another and we know that we can affect others lives by simply praying. Many of us know the power of thought. ‘Thoughts become things,’ Ive heard great teachers say.
So what has this got to do with dance?
How aware are you of the life that is around you? Once we have undergone those sometimes intense periods of looking inwards, healing our own journey, we begin to turn our attention outwards – to those around us. It is then possible to open ourselves much more towards others. We become aware of the wounds and pain of others. We become aware of those in need, those who suffer and those who have not yet found a way to dance themselves free of the trappings of their lives or of the unhealthy parts of society.
We may become more aware of the elements and the way the earth is constantly polluted or taken for granted. We may begin to feel the lack of awareness of our planet reflected within our own bodies, becoming more acutely aware of this mirrored back to us.
The more aware we become of what is around us the more power we can give to ourselves to actually make a difference, to do something about what we feel passionate about.
Nothing can be done without us first having a basic understanding of what is needed. So as we dance, we awaken those parts of ourselves that know. Those parts that have an innate wisdom to be able to see into what is needed. Empathy is born from the understanding of how life is affecting us inwardly and how life is being affected around us.
So on we dance, asking to be granted the wisdom; to be shown what is needed from us. What are we able to offer to our communities? What do we feel in our hearts is right? We keep dancing asking for the truth to be shown to us.
We each have a gift, a gift that is able to serve the higher good. By awakening ourselves and healing our own wounds this can become apparent. We may find ourselves healing child hood trauma, leading us to empathise with wounded children, taking ourselves amongst schools and kindergartens where we can best serve the needs of other children, we may wish to become a social worker and help families who are having difficulties with parenting. We may feel the need to connect with animals and take up working in a sanctuary, cleaning rivers for fishes or working as a healer for people’s pets. We may become vegan and work for animal rights. We may realise a need to assist broken marriages, to become a therapist. We may feel a need to write a book about our own life because somewhere a feeling deep down in our soul tells us it could help others heal from their own pasts and reclaim a part of their own soul.
This isn’t to say that we all need dance to help us find this way. Many of us have already found our soul-purpose. But what if we haven’t and we are still looking for that purpose? One of my workshops is called ‘Soul-Action’ I am sure you know what that is about 🙂
But how do we really implement this way of working within the dance? Like anything else we begin with the body and the breath. We develop a strong micro awareness of our inner dance. As we expand our awareness to what is around us we can begin to connect with the atmosphere; the atmosphere that we are creating ourselves, with our own dance. We might ask ‘how does this affect others?’
We may begin to notice what is drawn to us, what or who is attracted to us even? Where does our dance take us?
This can take very particular guidance. It is sometimes too easy to remain in the shell of our own existence, searching the corners and areas of dysfunction, sometimes this is really necessary and sometimes it can become too much of a habit. There are times when we will distract ourselves from our own pain by focusing on others and their pain. So how do we know when the timing is right?
Again it is the awareness within the dance and the trust of the dancer to guide us into 
those places when the timing is perfect. The body cannot lie, if we feel emotion it will connect us to the root of the pain if we listen intently enough. If the pain is because of what we know to be true inside us or if we feel it as pain that is collective, chances are it is the same thing. The inner reflecting the outer and vise versa.
My own role has been to be very observant of the timing. When have we collectively moved on from our own sufferings, then is the time to draw the attention outwards.
So the dance of Macro leads us to connect with what is external and helps us to see how we can be effective. What do we automatically begin to pray for? What draws our attention and curiosity? If we are willing to follow we may just discover that this is what the dance of our community is about.
For sure the soul knows why we are here and what we need to be doing and the dancer awakens that soul, they dance together, becoming one once more, no separation, a soul in action, giving to self, giving to others, giving to the planet.
Communities have come together to dance. For thousands of years they have gathered, in the middle of villages, around communal fires, many ways and many tribes around the world. As the dance begins to enter what is known as a trance or to dance ecstatically (transcending normal consciousness) The dancers can open up their own consciousness and allow what ever is needed to come forth. Tribal and indigenous cultures have known this for thousands of years. One person may receive a healing in these moments, a relationship may be healed, a child or a conflict within the village. These dances open up the potential for spiritual healing, emotional or physical.
The thing that makes these collective dances so different to other forms of dance is that there is a shared intention. Known or unknown in the beginning, the dance unfolds and the intention becomes clear. If there is a particular conflict then the spirits will be called that help to deal with this particular issue. The tribe might dance for hours even days and within that time just one dancer might receive a healing. That is good, that is necessary, that is progress. no one would feel ‘hard done by’ because they were not the one. For what affects one person will ultimately affect us all.
We come together in our cultures to dance, but how often is the focus of this dance to find a collective intention to heal or to work with a particular issue within our community? How often do we dance to find our true soul-purpose?
Please feel free to share your views and feelings on my post and any others I have written. And thank you for asking me the original question.
Lets come together to dance, with an intention
Caroline Carey
Photos by Ben Cole with thanks to Miriam and the dancers in South Africa workshop in my offering of ‘Circle, Fire & Phoenix.’
It is a painful place for the wounding inside us not to be heard.
The heart can begin to feel and a little voice inside says ‘see me’
The judgemental part of us says, ‘don’t be silly, who would want to hear this stuff, I’m not a child!’
And shame peers in. Resentment looks over a shoulder. Aloofness puts its chin in the air. Back bone curves with the weight of the heart. Jealousy mingles with ambition. Food or substance is stuffed down, keeping it down, anything to keep it down!
The understudy has kicked in and what has had its need is brushed over, forgotten and left to dance in the shadows.
What then? Does it enact itself through dramas and negative feelings, affecting those around us with passive aggressive statements and hurtful looks? Do we writhe inside ourselves with feelings of begrudgery tormenting ourselves within the body?
Or does it find great territories to explore and create a better life for itself?
Maybe our pattern is to run away, to make a quick exit from others lives and head off knowing that really the best thing is to go it alone and never darken another’s doorstep, or have to face what might lead to conflicts and misunderstandings.
And so on and on the stories keep repeating themselves, all for the sake of a few words
‘This is how I feel right now’
Those words spoken and the possibility of someone sharing a moment to say
‘I hear you, I see you, oh, that is how you feel right now’
No judgement, no criticism, no turning a blind eye or trying to change the subject, trying to fix you or make it alright. No defensiveness.
For the making it right is simply in the ability to be able to listen.
And if no one is there? What then? If no one can be found to hold that place of witness. There is a wise elder within you. One who knows. There is a dancer within you, one who also knows.
And that one will hear you, sit with you and hold the child within you as he/she speaks those words. Asking for that understanding from within. It takes practice to strengthen that wise elder.
And if you find yourself the listener, can you sit with an empty heart. Receiving what is needed to be heard. Letting it pass you by because you know its not really about you.
Honouring that broken heart, those tears of frustration.
Simply saying ‘I hear you, I see you’?
Can you be that witness. Without trying to fix the problem, without trying to unravel the scenarios?
Yes it takes great presence to be that witness.
Caroline Carey
Painting by Brenda May
The act of leaving home can repeat itself over and over, what ever way it happened back then, whether it was really positive and supported, or if it was traumatic and unexpected. So within some of my work we begin to find a way to ritualise this and see how it is still affecting us. Whether in our work lives, families or organisations. If there is a healing needed, then we will keep repeating the ‘need’ to experience leaving home, until we find a way to do it healthily with all the support needed, saying goodbye where necessary, to people, family, pets, even objects. There has been a ‘holding’ for many years and if at the time we leave we do not acknowledge what has passed, it will forever call to us, asking for that release from our lives, else we carry it forever with us, with unfinished business and forgotten tales, with no thought of gratitude or completion.
What do we need to do to complete that part of our lives, so we can step with more wholesomeness into the life we live now?
The home of familiarity,
Where even the darkened shadows
spelt out comfort
Yet I knew it was time to leave
There didn’t seem to be much choice
I never really asked
if there was,
a maybe?
So obviously spoken
the distress of others
the guilt once laid
the bed was made
so live it!
We remember, those moments and maybe we look a little deeper into their significance in our lives. And not just the time we left home, but many times through our lives where something happened to change us.
And we look back and begin to ritualise that meaning, holding it close to our hearts as a precious gift and telling its story with true value. It has true value, it is valuable, it has taught us so much. The story does not need to be dismissed, it is living on in so many areas of our lives, whether we remember it or not, sometimes in a good way and sometimes creating negative scenarios we would rather not be part of, but without the memory we can never be released from it.
And the story holds all that it has taught us. The part of us that has gained so much from its teachings. We may never fully understand what the gifts are, even when the scenario seems to have had a negative impact on our lives, for sure there will be wisdom held in its bones.
The dancer will free those memories and help us to engage more fully with the story, as well as the outcomes.
I began to step out into the little boat, to travel up and down the rivers of life. Leaving the shores of what was once familiar. I cannot know what awaits me so pushing myself gently from the shore I await those first few ripples and waves to carry me, outwards and onwards.
I can simply hope for calm seas, but I also have to accept the rough, knowing it is a necessary path and a way to build my strength and capability. Remembering to trust the dancer inside me, to move with the waves, to accept the river of life, I am journeying onwards to be one with the flow of energy that carries me.
Now I need my connections to what has come before me, I need the support of my ancestors and the strong connection I have to spirit. My prayers will be heard and I begin to learn to ask for what I need.
I develop skills I did not know I had, calling to the Phoenix to show me more of how to let go, into the ashes to transmute and open me up to the wings that would lift and carry me out of its dust.
Ah if it was that simple, to trust and to walk freely from what has held and nurtured us through our childhoods! Even if home was not such a happy place; it was what we knew and was familiar to us.
It was what sculpted us and helped to create the being we are now. There will be so many memories and many disappointments, places where we learnt how to get things right and often got things wrong. For sure we would need to learn quickly to please others and develop the character that fitted into the dynamics we were growing up with.
So there are ties, some hidden, into what we called home.
So I encourage you to ask yourself ‘what is the story I have around leaving home?’ That very first experience, maybe it began with a thought at a younger age, for sure we were being groomed for that day and it would often be spoken about. ‘What are you going to do when you leave home?’ ‘What will you do when you are grown up?’
I doubt many say ‘oh I am going to stay at home forever and ever’
Well actually one of my little ones did used to say that very thing. ‘Im going to live with you forever, mummy’ she would say. I wasn’t too sure if I should encourage it at the time, knowing the necessity of stepping out on ones own, growing up and taking ones own journey.
So I would simply remark ‘how nice dear’ and honor the love she had of being with her mum. Of course I was quite flattered too, especially as the same words were repeated as she grew older.
Another of my daughters informed me that I would leave home before she did! And she was right, I moved from the family home and she remained there taking it on for herself very briefly before she then found her own ‘smaller’ abode.
So what is your story? And when you have remembered it, ask yourself how you feel about it. Is there any emotion in your body?
See if you can see the ‘boat’ that you left the shores with. What contained you, or supported you, can you visualise this from the boat on the waters of life.
What were your first experiences and can you see any of these experiences repeating themselves over and over?
Memory
Sometimes our memories can play games with us and we can remember things slightly differently to how they really were. And of course others will have their own memories and interpretations of how things were too.
However ‘the body cannot lie’ so when we put ourselves in motion with intention, then the energy that needs to flow will flow. The postures of our body and the dance we inhabit will show a thousand more times what words fail to express, we can see how a body has taken on abuse, or been bullied or subjected to verbal accusation or unkindness.
We can see where there has been love and tenderness and encouragement to be proud in the world.
Painting by Brenda May
Still the memories that we feel exist and that we wish to explore will find its way to the skins surface and remind us that there is a dance to be danced.
As the music plays and the dancer is invited through the body to begin its exploration, the heart may well open a little more than in our every day lives, some of the times were we forgot to express ourselves will now be given their opportunity and emotion will be felt and sound will be heard, tears may fall and the dancer releasing what it knows to be true will find its movement and shapes of misfortune and loss, anger and hurt may then begin to form themselves into the dance. And then the memories show themselves, one by one or many at a time, reminding us of the past and showing us a way to heal, to make right and if we can never make right then to allow the body to shed what has been held there for many years, unspoken, unseen and unsung.
Memory is but a thread of a dream that is tied to the fragmented soul, it follows us around grabbing hold of other memories and weaving them together. Our life can become a collage of many happenings, pictures and questions to be asked.
I have a wonderful mother-out-law, Brenda May (I’m not married to Ben so out-law seems appropriate and we rather like it) Brenda is an artist and she paints wonderful images of her past memory of the houses she once lived in.
Some of the images are quite intense and others very subtle yet always to me with a sense of mystery about them. One particular quote I like of Brenda’s is ‘Memory is not a storage place, but a story we tell ourselves’ She also writes on one of her collages ‘Old houses stimulate memories – memories are fragmented and fractured somewhere between dreams and reality’
Brenda’s paintings are well worth taking a look at.
What happens between dreams and reality, as we begin to search within the corners of our own ‘houses’ our own body, our breath, our artist and our dancer. We discover a route to soul retrieval, understanding the dance and seeking within our hearts, making an enquiry to the dancer, asking ourselves ‘what do I need to remember?’
Will that same dancer show us as we drop deeper and deeper into the dream time, into the essence of reality, somewhere blending and mixing our own visionary ability to make sense of the emotional depth we might feel.
Sometimes the emotions feel so strong and our own ‘house’ rocks on its foundations, the painter places a brush into a corner, a crevice, a line appears or a shadowed area, the artist takes a breath or two, as the hand trembles and continues its journey, mapping out the feelings that begin to emerge as they form themselves in colors or movement, one shape after another is created, the artist and the dancer become one together as the structure of this creative outpouring begins to take form. There is no doubt that this is a memory unfolding, but whose memory? The unique memory of the artist, whether she holds a paint brush, or whether her body is the paint brush on the stage of life, the art is being shown to us and made reality.
Whose reality and does it matter? What seems to matter is the creative juice that forms emotion and as it displays itself it begins to touch into the hearts of others, stimulating their own feelings and depth of soul. A web is woven and the world of the unseen is brought to life.
Each of the houses I have lived in hold memories, every corner and garden wall, the shrubs and bracken and each room where I either sat, slept or shared with others. The windows I peered through, the eating places and where my animals curled in their corners. Some of these memories fill me with joy or a sense of peace and love, then there are others that I know I must quietly contemplate as the memory inhabits the shadowy areas of my mind and spirit. Then I must dance, or paint, then I must create that collage or write of the darkness as all manner of feelings emerge. And so it goes, as the healing becomes artistry and the memories a tapestry of life on a page.
I recall the house that was so cold,
I felt that ghostly presence around me.
A stillness that breathed the warm air
as it left my lungs,
making a flow of moisture ahead of me,
watching it I felt the atmosphere of the house
draw it into it
and play nimbly through its fingers
a little of my own life force.
And now only since moving away
am I able to see a little more clearly
the effect it was having on me.
Another memory to take with me
along with the other twenty five or more houses
that my life has shared a part of.
Leaving home yet again, leaving a nest that has been created, for a purpose. We move on and begin once more to not only create a new home, but to re-create a new part of ourselves, to step into a different era within our lives.
Can we see through the masks of our own illusion?
Are we willing to look?
Chances are we will see what we may not want to see,
it may be we see what we fear the most.
But in time we will grow used to seeing the reflection of our own
innocent vulnerable selves on this planet.
The masks will drop away
and the real human will emerge.
And dropping away that mask
of pretense, to be ‘some one’
in the world might just
give us the answer we need.
To return once more to our own innocence
might just be the saving grace of this planet,
these elements, this animal kingdom.
What incredible deeds we may do
for the sake of wearing an ill-fitting mask
that no longer serves the
kind of people we are growing into.
The true love a child feels for an animal
would ban those cruel and heartless,
meat curing, factory farms to non-existence
and each tender embrace of each animal
would be included in our prayers for humanity.
And we will care so deeply for the earth
because it is a mirror of our own tenderness
and our need to nourish ourselves and her,
a place for sanctuary, not gain.
We will honor the fire because it mirrors
the destructive energy we all hold inside ourselves
that we need to use sometimes with care
and the deepest of respect.
We will not dare to pollute the air and the winds
for fear it will contaminate our own lungs
and reflect back the damage we can cause
to the atmosphere that we are creating.
The waters of life would be purified as
we cleanse our own bodies,
thus never would one item of plastic,
non recyclable waste toxic accumulation
be discarded upon any beach or river bank,
lest we suffocate like a fish, a bird, wrapping
itself within threads of disused useless rubbish.
No loss of dignity,
no loss of power,
because power is itself,
the being who truly can adopt their vulnerability,
knowing it to be one of their greatest strengths.
Letting that mask fall and revealing
the true identity of the human race
takes one movement,
a deep surrender to their own story,
to their own heart ache,
to the love they once felt for ‘their’ true nature.
THE true nature.
Caroline Carey
How do we slow down a dance? 
Begin with a feeling of deep sensuality, meeting the earths beats, becoming really present with the motion of stillness. Following the tiniest of muscles and allowing each dance to unfold in its own time, nothing to rush or make happen, nothing to force with any thought of it having to look a certain way. It takes practice, to really be with the body, to know this dancer and fall deeply in love with it.
I hope this blog finds you well and curious about the spring time as we start to be aware of those little buds pushing themselves up and out from the cold ground. They have no idea what life is going to be like as they raise their heads to the sun, but it seems they take that risk to be seen anyway! What might life be like if they chose not too, for us and for them? Of course I am speaking metaphorically here! A flower simply opens, a bird simply fly’s, without thought or analysis. Could we learn to be the same, to simply open ourselves to life without shrinking in fear?
As life changes we change, our need to grow and become free, learning to shape shift between roles, step up and be seen and be counted means taking risks, not fearing judgement, speaking out and opening our hearts all takes courage. Will we fully risk ‘being who we are?’
Ive had to take many risks through my life, to dare to show up when parts of me would rather turn away or go to sleep, even be put back in an old box, hidden away, but there is no time for that now. As I write my third book I feel some of those things that I would not normally want to say, yet a part of me absolutely has to speak them, because if I don’t – those words will never be heard, those poems will never see the light of day. And even if they have no effect in this moment, I am still releasing them for future generations to come, and who knows what may need to be read then!
All of this often means standing in my own Mandorla, the magic and mystery of my own creativity. I know the chaos it can create for me and the discomfort it brings, yet it has such an ability to heal and to create more of that gentle power so needed in the world. So stand there in that circle I must.
We danced with the process of the Mandorla last week in The Netherlands and we will dance it again in two weeks. Again this workshop has filled very quickly and is proving to be very dynamic and rewarding for those who take part.
Before the last Mandorla workshop, Ben and I arrived home from South Africa, emptied our case from hot weather clothing, filled it with winter woolies and then headed off to The Netherlands to offer the Mandorla work there. Its all part of the shape shifting journey we seem to be on. Not only with our work but also with our home and where we are living. So as we prepare to move on once more, we keep checking in with ourselves as to how we are, where are our feet, what is our dance and meditation leading us to. Reminding ourselves to stay grounded and to focus on the job in hand. But also to check in with our deeply loving relationship to each other and our relationship with 
ourselves. This is not a time to ‘get lost’ but to really find ourselves and to find each other. Knowing each other at our most vulnerable as well as in our strongest and most loving ways.
South Africa was such an amazing journey, Ive never been there before and the response from the dancers was so welcoming. We are heading back there in November to share more Movement Medicine, films and communal healing. Thank you so much to Jayne Bullen for making this possible for us and all the dancers there. Jayne is an apprentice to the School of Movement Medicine as are other dancers, soon to be trained teachers, so a whole new community is blossoming there of movement medicine teachings and dances. It was lovely to be there as a guest teacher for the school and share in this. Susannah and Ya’Acov Darling Khan will be there next month also.
Our journey also took us into the townships and places of hardship, where we are planning some fund raising possibilities by filming and documenting what is needed. Jayne is already running fund raising projects for the schools there.
So always I travel, dance and live with my own Circle supporting me, click to read in wordpress.
Do you know what you are willing to dance with? And do you know the strong circle that surrounds you, protecting you and supporting your journey? I have asked participants of the Circle workshops that I hold, if they would like to write their experience of this to put in my next book ‘The Circle, The Fire & The Phoenix’
Might you have one of these stories to share? If so do send it to me.
So now I am off to the Phoenix Retreat in Devon to work with the School of Movement Medicine and another richly rewarding process of human exploration. Life is never dull, there is always a new experience to unfold and discover.
I hope to see you soon, where ever that might be on this journey,
After much studying and exploring from the depths of my heart and soul, I can now see how this work has taken form, not to be taken lightly it certainly does shake us, but with the the most joyful and heart awakening experience to follow.
It is known as the most powerful of religious experiences we can have in life. Mandorla is the place of poetry “where the fire and the rose are one!” (four quartets; T.S Eliot)
Both workshops on offer in Amsterdam have filled up instantly and so I plan to do more. 
There is so much conflict in our world, I know this is hugely necessary work to follow. I wrote about my first experience of Mandorla realization in my second book ‘Reclaimed Innocence.’
At a time when our differences, our needs and desires, gender, culture, politics, faith traditions etc threaten to divide us, the Mandorla provides a bridge that can deepen this experience with relationships and empower the right action. There is no way to depict the Mandorlas brightness, except by darkness. If we stand in the place of the Mandorla, that meeting place of two opposites, then we can use the energy of that particular conflict to provide a vital spark which can lead again to a deeper understanding of what is occurring and to enable us to make clear decisions and feel into the power this gives us. In my own case my mothering and my ever-emerging soulcraft conflicted with each other. I became more aware of these two opposites as I explored them. I held two very strong levels of soul work. One was the rearing of six children; the other was my work in the world. They were both equally as important to me. I was stretched unbelievably between the two. For years I experienced deep anguish and pain as I juggled these roles and found ways to combine both of them in my life. I felt that tension growing in me, the tearing apart of what I needed to do, pulled in all directions.
I felt that tension growing in me, the tearing apart of what I needed to do, pulled in all directions. I spent a long time on the phone checking in with my girl, seeking help from others and talking to her in ways that I felt would help. My own tension was growing inside me, a creature going crazy feeling the madness of it all. My own heat rising in my belly, the curse of the mountain lion, the puma, sharpening her claws, what was going on inside me, what was happening to the child I wanted to protect from wounding. I raged with agony to be in both places. One voice saying ‘go home to your daughter, be a ‘good’ mother.’ Another voice saying ‘let her be, this is her journey she needs to experience this’ Another voice recognising the importance of the work I was undertaking and how it may affect hundreds of other beings in years to come, as well as helping me very deeply to connect with my own strongly emerging mytho-poetic identity. The Mandorla work was exploring me, just as I was exploring it. Now I had a ‘name’ for what I had experienced so much in my adult life.
I was romancing the world and yet staying in touch with my daughter as best as possible. Being with the river and my singing voice that kept emerging and singing its songs. I allowed my Mandorla tension to rise, to feel right into it, to be with it in ways I had not felt before, or even allowed myself to ever feel. The tension grew and the lioness roared deeply within. Pacing amidst the undergrowth, sharpening her claws on rocks, dancing her way into being. Then the dance began. A deep trance dance that was held beautifully by drummers and compassionate witnesses, by circles of men and circles of women. The beast was set free, she tossed and tumbled into the pain of her own soul, making love to the earth, being with the soil, the mud clinging to her body, the beat of her heart rocking to the rhythm of the world. She felt for a moment the trapping of a wild beast trapped in the confines of this human world, looking into fear filled faces, snarling as she broke free into her wild dance, she would not be held or caged, she would dance as wildly as her own body would allow. Hair flailing, arms and fingers exploring the dewy sensuality of mud and saliva, toes clawing at the edges of the circle finding a way to free themselves into the expansion of what was outside this cage, knowing that to be whole she needed to dance everything that was inside it. I had to leave myself behind for a while, to see what would emerge, to let go of countless skins, to shed the old and step into the new. I could not be in control of this; ‘it’ whatever ‘it’ was needed its own journey for a while and I simply needed to step out of its way. For me to really find my own soul, my 
own unique place in the world the ‘I’ needed to pull away, to allow the love relationship to unfold, to feel the caresses of the earth, to surrender to the torrents of passion we were creating together, I in my dance and the earth meeting me in all my wildness. We became one.
(An exert from Reclaimed Innocence MyVoice Publishing Caroline Carey)
There is a tension that is created at an evolutionary level. The mandorla is the almond shape where two circles partly overlap, it is the Italian word for almond, the circles merging place signifies the sacred place in which balance and reconciliation are birthed. There is a generative power available within the tension of opposites as in heaven and earth, light and dark, masculine and feminine, loyalty and betrayal, to name but a few. Mandorla is the sacred space of our soul work; it is where beauty and terror exist together. There has been a split and these two circles become united together. The curse is the pain it can inflict but with the greatest potential to heal.
This gathering includes creativity, movement meditations & constellation work. The focus is on the conflicts in our lives and as we begin to realize how these conflicts affect us, we can begin to find their dance. With the support of the group and a constellation process which is held and guided by myself and the drum beat, we begin to allow the Magic of the Mandorla birth the richness of wisdom and new insights.
My intention is to offer this work and experience within workshops but also to business’s, colleges, organizations and individuals. It is available to you, what ever your experience, for those wishing to work with deep rooted issues or to simply become awakened to new insights. For those training in therapeutic studies or the student to life’s experiences. Men and women, any age or ability.
Magic of Mandorla, amazing and deep work with Caroline Carey. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT to anyone who is studying to become a therapist or is one already but seeking the thread of connection in continuing your own development and work with your own process (which we so need when we work with others – right?). If you feel called to this work, then follow your intuition and go for it! I think it’s excellent quality. Suzan Lemont
You can read more about it on my website and please feel free to contact if you would like more info and possibilities….http://www.alchemyinmovement.com/magicmandorla.html
Caroline
info@carolinecarey.com
It can be quite shocking to see ‘that’ case coming to light on the news today and 
hearing about how so many people were affected by ‘his’ abusive behavior, that goes back for so many years.
I cannot help but be reminded of my own challenges in this area and remember how it felt to be treated that way. Not only as it happened but the consequences it had through out my life, as it affected my relationships and my ability to be fully present in the world.
I am also reminded of the journey I have had to take to release myself from the past and to begin to create a new story for myself. I could stay attached to that old story, believing that was who I was and always would be, or I could make significant changes in my life and my attitudes towards myself, so as to re-create myself time and time again. As each story began to lessen its grip, I would find new and creative ways to liberate myself, dancing myself free and expressing all that I am.
It has meant sharing my healing work more fully with others, it has meant writing my story and having it published, it has meant putting myself on stage, in front of cameras and being interviewed for wonderful projects. I have learn’t to speak out, which has led me to speak about many topics on personal development and new growth, if I could speak out about the worst scenarios in my life, I felt I could share many other parts of who I was as well.
Because of my own abuse and determination to heal it, I may never have been in touch with the warrior I am with such determination to mend my life! Getting to know my own warrior rather than remain a victim is what has given me the most freedom.
I sometimes wonder who I might have been had I not been abused, I have often wished it never happened, but having learnt to accept and move on means it does not matter to me, I am who I am and have no desire now to change it. I’ve made mistakes, not always getting things just as they should be, I was very late having a career and a life I could call my own, I struggled to regain my own body and sexuality, but it has taught me so much and now I can fully empathise with others when they share their stories with me.
My passion is to help others grow and transform, giving themselves permission to speak out, so this crime may become less and less. We will always have our challenges, but the more we speak out the less possible it will be for others to be hurt in the way we were, then our story will not lie dormant inside us as stagnant energy causing dis-ease, but will flow freely to create expressive and free lives, our innocence is reclaimed!
Caroline Carey Writings, Prose & Poetry 