It is a painful place for the wounding inside us not to be heard.
The heart can begin to feel and a little voice inside says ‘see me’
The judgemental part of us says, ‘don’t be silly, who would want to hear this stuff, I’m not a child!’
And shame peers in. Resentment looks over a shoulder. Aloofness puts its chin in the air. Back bone curves with the weight of the heart. Jealousy mingles with ambition. Food or substance is stuffed down, keeping it down, anything to keep it down!
The understudy has kicked in and what has had its need is brushed over, forgotten and left to dance in the shadows.
What then? Does it enact itself through dramas and negative feelings, affecting those around us with passive aggressive statements and hurtful looks? Do we writhe inside ourselves with feelings of begrudgery tormenting ourselves within the body?
Or does it find great territories to explore and create a better life for itself?
Maybe our pattern is to run away, to make a quick exit from others lives and head off knowing that really the best thing is to go it alone and never darken another’s doorstep, or have to face what might lead to conflicts and misunderstandings.
And so on and on the stories keep repeating themselves, all for the sake of a few words
‘This is how I feel right now’
Those words spoken and the possibility of someone sharing a moment to say
‘I hear you, I see you, oh, that is how you feel right now’
No judgement, no criticism, no turning a blind eye or trying to change the subject, trying to fix you or make it alright. No defensiveness.
For the making it right is simply in the ability to be able to listen.
And if no one is there? What then? If no one can be found to hold that place of witness. There is a wise elder within you. One who knows. There is a dancer within you, one who also knows.
And that one will hear you, sit with you and hold the child within you as he/she speaks those words. Asking for that understanding from within. It takes practice to strengthen that wise elder.
And if you find yourself the listener, can you sit with an empty heart. Receiving what is needed to be heard. Letting it pass you by because you know its not really about you.
Honouring that broken heart, those tears of frustration.
Simply saying ‘I hear you, I see you’?
Can you be that witness. Without trying to fix the problem, without trying to unravel the scenarios?
Yes it takes great presence to be that witness.