Is there a need to be heard?

It is a painful place for the wounding inside us not to be heard.

The heart can begin to feel and a little voice inside says ‘see me’

The judgemental part of us says, ‘don’t be silly, who would want to hear this stuff, I’m not a child!’

And shame peers in. Resentment  looks over  a shoulder. Aloofness puts its chin in the air. Back bone curves with the weight of the heart. Jealousy mingles with ambition. Food or substance is stuffed down, keeping it down, anything to keep it down!Image

The understudy has kicked in and what has had its need is brushed over, forgotten and left to dance in the shadows.

What then? Does it enact itself through dramas and negative feelings, affecting those around us with passive aggressive statements and hurtful looks? Do we writhe inside ourselves with feelings of begrudgery tormenting ourselves within the body?

Or does it find great territories to explore and create a better life for itself?

Maybe our pattern is to run away, to make a quick exit from others lives and head off knowing that really the best thing is to go it alone and never darken another’s doorstep, or have to face what might lead to conflicts and misunderstandings.

And so on and on the stories keep repeating themselves, all for the sake of a few words

‘This is how I feel right now’

Those words spoken and the possibility of someone sharing a moment to say

‘I hear you, I see you, oh, that is how you feel right now’

No judgement, no criticism, no turning a blind eye or trying to change the subject, trying to fix you or make it alright. No defensiveness.

For the making it right is simply in the ability to be able to listen.

And if no one is there? What then? If no one can be found to hold that place of witness. There is a wise elder within you. One who knows. There is a dancer within you, one who also knows.

And that one will hear you, sit with you and hold the child within you as he/she speaks those words. Asking for that understanding from within. It takes practice to strengthen that wise elder.

And if you find yourself the listener, can you sit with an empty heart. Receiving what is needed to be heard. Letting it pass you by because you know its not really about you.

Honouring that broken heart, those tears of frustration.

Simply saying ‘I hear you, I see you’?

Can you be that witness. Without trying to fix the problem, without trying to unravel the scenarios?

Yes it takes great presence to be that witness.

Caroline Carey

About Caroline Carey

Caroline is an English Grandmother and an aspiring crone~elder, an author of four books, a speaker and innovative and creative teacher, offering her work via workshops and gatherings online as well as internationally. By adapting the religious education insisted on by her family, she was able to recognise her own innate connection to God/Spirit and has been on a spiritual path since childhood. She is a champion of music, dance and poetry as healing tools since she was four years old and developed an innate understanding of the soul’s journey, a connection to physical embodiment through movement, theatre and the creative arts. Her work is harmonious with nature. Her journey has manifested as her own personal training into eldership and crone-hood, carrying the wisdom needed for stability and balance in individuals, relationships, families and communities. Mothering her six, now adult, children, gave Caroline the art of play, creativity, story-telling and opened up the deep surrender and unconditional love that motherhood can bestow. Caroline has trained in many modalities of dance, therapeutic and spiritual teacher trainings since 1986. She is a writer who has published her autobiography and four other books about her spiritual work. Her latest book, 'Middle Earth Wisdom' will be published soon. She lives in UK with her husband Ben Cole, a film-maker, a director who works with men’s initiation groups. They often offer work together, incorporating dance, presentation and film. Caroline is: A mother and grandmother A writer and poet A dancer A spiritual life coach A catalyst for change She is available to you for guidance
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