dark night of the soul

It is true that sometimes in order to re-claim our soul, we must journey into the darker places, the mystery, the hunger, the deprivation that lingers.
We must uncover the earth where sorrow lies and dig into the rocks that have remained hidden and buried for an eternity. To enter into the ‘dark night of the soul,’ for that moment in time….to give to it that time.

Letting the light shine in once again, we sing the song that awakens us out of the morbid and fear ridden hollows. The soul emerges, grateful for this journey as it brings with it the ultimate healing of its purpose in life.yellow-butterfly-flying-high

Over many centuries religion has taken a powerful place in our lives and that of our communities. The priests became our elders and had access to the upper-worlds. We would revere them and admire their more than holiness. We would see them as ‘enlightened’ beings and trust that their judgment was always the best. We would seek their advice and bow to them paying them with our money and offerings.
Those leaders knew that by encouraging us to look continually upward, they held the wealth and the power. The doom of hell was a journey into pain and disaster because it held a threat for them. If people descended in to those realms they would begin to feel pain, they would discover the dream-time and the poetry, they would allure others to be in the dark with them and then the people would begin to grow and to find the light within the darkened places.
When this growth happened, just as anything in nature, be it a new baby, a seedling sprouting from the ground, the beginnings of rivers; the people would mature and become ‘true adults’ they would recognise that it was not always necessary to look to the light, that
often true growth meant an exploration into the dark.
The spiritual leaders condemned the beliefs that poetry and the dance, the myths and the legends, were part of our craft to engage with soul, this place became ‘hell’ and if anyone went there they would be burned in an everlasting furnace. They created fear in people’s minds and in their communities, ‘Always look to the light’ they would say,
that is where the true God resides, keep looking upward and all will be well. Do not explore the dark, it cannot serve you. The money and the wealth and the positions of power would always be theirs. The people would not grow, but remain like children looking up at their
parents, lost to a world of depth and discovery.

When those who saw that light within the dark made any attempt to share the truth, they were burned, they were drowned and they were hung. Still we throw our crumbs to enlightened beings, taught that true life is above us, to steer away from the feminine, from sensuality and sexuality. Indigenous cultures would be undermined, land stolen, men tortured and the women raped.

I had been in the depths of my pain, I was in touch with the
wounding of women, ancestors from hundreds of years, many of
them burned, drowned, silenced by their ability to heal, to be at
one with nature. My voice was hurting, I felt silenced and in need
of calling out to know what I was really about. Nature being the
great place of discovery, here I could search deeper and deeper
into my psyche without fear of judgment or criticism.

Are we afraid of our deepest darkness, or can we ride the storms, sink into the ocean depths and brave the coming winds of change and  reconciliation with who we are?

Our own indigenous culture can be reclaimed if we take those steps back in the wilderness, into our own wild-nature. There is hope and there is huge possibility for our world to survive and we with it. If we push our roots deep into the earth, it is then possible for us to
truly grow into mature adults and into wise elders again.

Reclaimed Innocence by Caroline Carey


About Caroline Carey

Caroline is an English Grandmother and an aspiring crone~elder, an author of four books, a speaker and innovative and creative teacher, offering her work via workshops and gatherings online as well as internationally. By adapting the religious education insisted on by her family, she was able to recognise her own innate connection to God/Spirit and has been on a spiritual path since childhood. She is a champion of music, dance and poetry as healing tools since she was four years old and developed an innate understanding of the soul’s journey, a connection to physical embodiment through movement, theatre and the creative arts. Her work is harmonious with nature. Her journey has manifested as her own personal training into eldership and crone-hood, carrying the wisdom needed for stability and balance in individuals, relationships, families and communities. Mothering her six, now adult, children, gave Caroline the art of play, creativity, story-telling and opened up the deep surrender and unconditional love that motherhood can bestow. Caroline has trained in many modalities of dance, therapeutic and spiritual teacher trainings since 1986. She is a writer who has published her autobiography and four other books about her spiritual work. Her latest book, 'Middle Earth Wisdom' will be published soon. She lives in UK with her husband Ben Cole, a film-maker, a director who works with men’s initiation groups. They often offer work together, incorporating dance, presentation and film. Caroline is: A mother and grandmother A writer and poet A dancer A spiritual life coach A catalyst for change She is available to you for guidance
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9 Responses to dark night of the soul

  1. chloe says:

    Beautifully written, wise words Caroline.

  2. I have been a dancer, an actor and because of illness found writing. It is not easy to write about the dark depths that some of us have ventured into. Thank you for reminding me about the power of creativity.


  3. Johanna Stromeyer says:

    Dear Caroline,

    Your poem encourages me to befriend my fury. It seems deeper than owning my rage. When I did that through the dance, I could feel a force of warrior coming back and I understood that if I am not allowed to express anger or rage, if this makes me go to hell, then I am without power.

    If I am without sin, I am without power. If I am without power I cannot stand up for what my heart and soul is longing to stand up for. If I am without sin and without power, I cannot take responsibility for my actions. If I am without the ability to respond to life, I will never grow up.

    I am sin, therefore I am power, therefore I have, I am able to take responsibility. Aho!

    But sometimes it feels easier said than done.
    Now it feels it is time not only to befriend my anger and rage, but it is time to welcome back my fury.

    It is time to welcome all that I am, all that we are in order to heal, in order to stand up for life

    Thank you Caroline

    • Beautiful strong words Johanna, sounds like an amazing dance awakening! Much love Caroline

      • Johanna Stromeyer says:

        Thank you Caroline,
        Thank you for seeing a dance awaken.
        And a dance did awaken, and still is awakening.

        The irony is, that in order to start moving and dancing I asked spirit to support me and I took an animal power card. The Swan. it reads: Grace, appreciate the beauty inside and all around you.

        But why- I thought- do I pick this card right now when I am ready to go into my fury? Into my darkness ..
        So I trust and I dance. I dance my fury, my ugliness, I connect to Mama earth. I feel her fierceness, my fierceness, I am storm I am thunder I am lightening, I am distruction.

        I am distruction- in order to really see, feel and appreciate the beauty inside and all around me.

        Feeling very tender now.

        Thank you for your support.

        Much love,

      • Swan medicine is awesome! They are graceful and beautiful, but fierce beyond belief. And so protective! Their webbed feet work hard all the time in the currents, keeping them moving. Swan medicine is a strong totem to have!

      • Johanna Stromeyer says:

        merci, Gracias, Danke, thank you, namaste…..

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