The Mandorla is an ancient symbol, an almond-shaped aureola, a frame that surrounds the totality of an iconographic figure. It is usually synonymous with vesica. It represents  pure presence depicting sacred moments that transcend time and space.It is seen surrounding angels, saints, Christ, Mother Mary, fairy folk, Buddhist icons and others.

The Mandorla represents divine union. It is possibly the most ancient sacred symbol known. Two overlapping circles represent the polarities between opposite forces and the energy this holds as in earth and sky, feminine and masculine, ego and soul, or physical and spiritual realms. The opposing energies magnetise each other. The creative power that ignites in the overlap is the simplest form or basic matrix for life on earth.

The two circles sit within the larger circle, which represents total existence. They meet at the centre forming the almond shape known as Mandorla or  Vesica Piscis

As human beings we are here to bridge the opposites of spirit and matter, to embrace the existence of heaven and earth to manifest the connection between the spiritual forces and the lives of being human. It is the deepest lesson for us to learn. Not the most comfortable, but certainly the most effective. We learn how to be and inhabit or embody our true nature, learning about who we are and the purpose we each hold. Becoming grounded in our physical body enables us to hold the spiritual-soul-self as resident of our existence.

At a time when our differences, our needs and desires, gender, culture, politics, faith traditions, etc threaten to divide us, the Mandorla provides a bridge that can deepen this experience with relationships and empower the right action. There is no way to depict the Mandorla’s brightness, except by darkness.  If we stand in the place of the Mandorla, the meeting place of two opposites, then we can use the energy of that conflict to provide a vital spark, which leads to a deeper understanding of what is occurring, enabling us to feel into its power.

We can exist on multiple planes of being; the one that we are usually most aware of, however, is the material world. By its nature, the material world is a place of duality – a place of opposites that we often experience as being in conflict with one another. The polarity between opposites creates a fundamental tension, that has the potential to be either profoundly destructive or powerfully generative and creative. The evidence of the destructive consequences of this tension lies all around us in the terrible scourges of war, inequality and conflict within and between individuals, groups and societies.

My own exploration has been to enquire how the Mandorla can empower mine and others lives. I realised I had been influenced by the Mandorla since birth, even since conception. I’ve spent 15 years, on this exploration, deepening every aspect I could find about a life of polarity. Until I came up with the deepest enquiry so far. The one of – what if our core-wound and our greatest aspiration are in conflict with each other, which I believed was the case with a lot of people. And if they were, why was the healing journey not enough, why didn’t it make changes? Why did we face the same problems over and over again, despite all our personal development work? Why was it so hard to bring our gifts to our communities?

The Mandorla process I was beginning to undergo caused me to ask questions like

Why do I feel unfulfilled?

What happened to my self esteem?

Why am I unable to work in the way I would like to?

What is holding me back from living my potential?

These two circles of energy kept appearing in my Mandorla processes. They asked me to go deeper.

I went right in, to the deepest part of my core wound, the one that had prevented me from living the life that I some how knew was mine to live.  It showed up – profoundly. I already knew many of the problems, but it was my perceptions of it that had to change.

As I became more curious, I knew that through connections with my birth, my family and education I had experienced a deep level of shame, that had manifested from the story of there being ‘something wrong with me’ (my mothers words) This was partly due to a fall I had on my head as a baby, the tantrums and screaming fits I used to have and the inability to be the daughter she so wanted me to be, as well as my learning difficulties at school. It has been important to identify this wound, not just make an assumption that that is what it must be.

Whatever the core wound is, it begins to manifest throughout our lives with challenges, suffering, trauma, lack of self esteem, and all manner of other debilitating factors. It can create grandiosity, tyranny and manipulation. All of this happened to me.

 It is a common thought throughout the ‘healing’ professions, that this wound like shame, guilt, lack of worth etc needs to be ‘healed.’ I believe that this so-called healing of the psyche, simply masks the wound and nothing really changes. The healing rarely comes to fruition because our core wound isn’t there to be healed! It is there to empower us.

It is our ‘super-power or asset!’

It is there to be accepted. So we can recognise our innate gifts and ultimately know our purpose, thus moving on, bringing kindness to ourselves and others.

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I began to find solutions for my pain and difficulties very early on in life. I loved to dance, to write poetically and had a deep love of animals, particularly dogs and horses. I needed to be outside and moving a lot.  Dance was a very big deal for me especially when I became a teenager, but it was there from the beginning, a need for music, to move my body, to connect to something greater than my own ego. It became a spiritual journey and for that I am eternally grateful. I felt that the dance helped me through the challenges, through sexual abuse, through loneliness and a lack of connection to others. It helped me to understand life and to rewire my ways of thinking. I wrote poetically of my experiences, writing pages full of prose and verse. I wasn’t a ‘good’ writer. I didn’t spell correctly or use proper grammar. But still it served the purpose that I needed. These were the solutions I found in order to cope with life, the strategies I developed that helped me make sense of the world.

During my first shamanic training, I was sent on a vision walk with a particular exercise to do. Each time I stood still, what was directly ahead of me was two identical objects, side by side. Two chimneys, two gates, two windows, two trees and on it went. This grabbed my curiosity yet I had no idea what it would lead to at that time. I continued the unearthing of something that would be immensely potent, not just for myself but for my vocation. Very soon I began to see my shame as that super-power not something that kept me small, but gave me a depth of humility. It became an asset into holding deep empathy with others an understanding of some of the landscapes of their thought processes, their motivations and their limitations.

I saw my dance and creativity as another asset, being a teacher for others with my gift and talent which led me to hold workshops, seminars and one to one work around the world in many countries that I was invited to. It helped me to write and publish my books so that others would benefit from what I had experienced. Here lay the Mandorla of my own existence. The sacred contract that I had been born to inhabit, to grow my self-worth with and to offer to my community. I looked at my life-path, a middle child, born on the winter solstice between the dark and the light. A mother to three sons and then three daughters. And so many other opposites along my path.

By coming to understand this more fully and enquiring into this particular polarity with the core-wound and the aspiration, my sacred contract had landed. Spirit and Matter coming into unity, just as my Soul and Ego would fall in love with each other.

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Our first action as we are conceived is that the cell once impregnated with the sperm splits into two. Then four and multiples as the first cell becomes the flower of life. Does that make us the first flower of life?

My main interest lies with this first action. The split into two, which in the work I developed, holds the essence of the core-wound and the aspiration for our future self, to be of service and offer our gifts to our community, possibly beyond.  Identifying these two qualities, bridging them and being creative with them becomes the process.

When I became aware of my own story, the one of there being something wrong with me and ultimately being full of shame, I knew that I needed to fully inhabit this shame body, to explore its landscapes, to feel it innately through my body, to dance with it, to create with it and to recognise it as the most powerful aspect of myself. And then in the accepting of it, I had to befriend it and literally fall in love with my shame.

This is where we find the light of our existence, the power and the humility together. For one cannot be in service without the other.  If we are all aspiration without knowing our wound and embracing it, we lack empathy, compassion and understanding of our fellow citizens, the animal kingdom and our environment. If we are all soul with no aspiration, our tendency is to live without true service, which is often a lack of a deeper meaning with a desire to satisfy the needs of our unhealthy ego. These two weave together a life of dysfunctional behaviour with a lack of true worth and value.

Our work together will explore your core-wound, looking beyond the current situations or the past manifestations, journeying right back to the time it all began. We will explore your childhood dreams and some of the things that you loved to do. We will examine the qualities you held as a child and see what, with the right kind of encouragement, would better serve you today. 

Embracing these two circles of energy, getting to know them intimately, we will use the tools of embodiment to manifest the soul purpose of each individual.  The aim then of this work is to help you to embrace your gifts with a desire to bring them into the world, to be of service to the greater good.   We then explore how this can be done with fortitude and courage to do the work that is required from you for its manifestation. There are many other polarities we can also explore, the difficult decisions we need to  make and the way get pulled in different directions.

This work is offered one to one and in groups. One to one means booking a six session course with creative tasks to do, so that you can develop your purpose.  A group process can be a one day session working with Caroline or a weekend workshop with conscious dance. My work  also includes a five day deep immersion for twelve people. Some of the work incorporates a personal constellation process to deepen the immersive process.  This work can be used with or without movement/conscious dance and creative projects.  What it introduces is more empathy and consideration of others, kindness and humility which is much needed in todays workplaces. 

What do you need? 

• A willingness to look deeply into your life story.
• A desire to discover the embodiment of your innate gift.
• Time away from usual commitments.
• Financial commitment.
• Art materials (to be discussed)

For more enquiry into this process please write to me at    moc.enicidemhtraeelddim@enilorac 

Or if you would like to organise this work within your community, please be in touch.